The End of Friends

Surviving Urbit Assembly, Hurricane Ian, and the Friendship Paradox

The night after the hurricane I slept in the backseat of a rented Forester on the sweating, palm-frond scattered streets of Key West. Another blackout. Another fractured friendship. Yelling, running, pushing, wives called, police threatened. I regain consciousness at 4am, wheels spinning in the flood. I’m turned away from three motels. Computer bookings mean you can’t check-in late, like how bank software prevents wire transfers on holidays.

I’m great at making friends and better at losing them. It wasn’t until this trip that I got why. Nietzsche says, “the friend should be a master in conjecture and in keeping silence: you must not want to see everything. Your dream should tell you what your friend does when awake.” What he means is: friends shouldn’t want to know each other completely, or even that well. Our friends should be partially composed of the great dreams we have of them, dreams of their success in the overcoming we pursue together.

One way to demoralize Western men is to sc…